


You know now everyone hates me a whole bunch

by Anonymous



Series: anonymous ramblings about minecraft [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Temporary Character Death, Child Neglect, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jschlatt is Toby Smith | Tubbo's Parent, Philza's A+ parenting, Suicide Attempt, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo Has PTSD, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, basically i analyze tubbo for a few thousand words again, but not the good kind :(, it was the fake one at logstedshire, its tommy but dw he didnt die, no beta we die like lmanberg, sorry - Freeform, tell me if i need to tag anything else bc this is kinda heavy lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:48:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29344629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The Dream smp but told through Tubbo's eyes.
Relationships: Phil Watson & Technoblade - Relationship, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: anonymous ramblings about minecraft [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009905
Comments: 19
Kudos: 119
Collections: Anonymous





	You know now everyone hates me a whole bunch

**Author's Note:**

> BACK ON MY BULLSHIT BOYS!!! this took 3 days to write :| at least its long
> 
> this was gonna be a prequel to quiet and falling but then i couldnt think of a good way to end it LMAO
> 
> title from becky by be your own pet

When Tubbo was four, he was abandoned by his father.

He was left in a box in the middle of the woods, covered in blankets and hugging his favorite bee plush like his life depended on it. He was told to wait until his father came back, and all would be ok. So he waited. And waited. And waited.

For a while he didn't have proper shelter, all he had was a flimsy box and some blankets, but he made due. He never traveled far from the box, in case his father came back while he was gone, but he collected sticks and rocks and berries, trying his hardest to make some sort of shelter. 

Three months after Tubbo was abandoned, he ran into someone else. That someone else was a boy his age, who was blonde and energetic and called himself Tommy. Tommy was Tubbo's one and only friend. Tommy said he lived nearby, so he would be able to visit often. 

Whenever Tommy came over, he brought snacks and drinks and would talk for hours about anything and everything. Tubbo quickly got to know everything about Tommy's family, about how his father, who Tommy called Phil, was a little bit absent but he still loved his kids. About how his older brother Wilbur could play anything he wanted on the guitar. About how he had someone almost like an uncle, seemingly called The Blade, who would teach him how to fight with a sword. Tommy's family was perfect, and Tubbo ate it all up.

One day Tommy came with a tent, saying he stole it from his dad but it was alright because they had extras. Tubbo was over the moon, finally he had somewhere to sleep other than a flimsy falling apart box. The boys spent the whole day setting up that tent, and for the first time in months Tubbo slept nicely under proper shelter.

When Tubbo was five, he met Tommy's older brother.

Tubbo had been told that Phil and The Blade were off on a trip, off adventuring and exploring as they often did. Tubbo had also been told that Wilbur wanted to meet him, so on the night before their meeting he cleaned and decorated his tent to the best of his ability. When he finally met Wilbur, he was amazed. Wilbur was tall and smart and the coolest man Tubbo had ever met.

Wilbur was worried, after all, Tubbo was a 5 year old child living in an old tent in the middle of the woods. Wilbur, like any almost responsible 13 year old would do, asked if the boys wanted to have a sleepover at Phil's place. The boys were ecstatic, and Wilbur was able to use it as an excuse to feed Tubbo some real food.

When Tubbo was six, he formally moved in with Wilbur and Tommy, though he had been sleeping there almost every night anyways.

Wilbur wasn't the best parental figure, but he was fourteen and tried his best. Tommy was obviously the favorite of the two, but that was ok! Tubbo understood that he was just a friend, not a brother, and that he didn't need as much love and attention as Tommy did.

Wilbur attempted to teach Tubbo how to read, but they soon realized the words moved weirdly and gave him a headache, so they stopped. The first week of teaching left Wilbur impatient and frustrated, and Tubbo feeling guilty and scared, but it was soon forgotten. Wilbur and Tommy decided reading for Tubbo was much easier, and he agreed, so they did.

When Tubbo was seven, he realized Phil and The Blade (or, as Wilbur had called him, Technoblade) weren't coming back home.

Wilbur had realized that a year ago, but didn't want to tell the boys. Tubbo found out when Tommy came crying to him about missing his dad. That was the day Tubbo realized adults couldn't be trusted. They would never stay, moving on as soon as they got bored.

When Tubbo was ten, Wilbur packed them up and moved. 

Wilbur had been told about a small community by one of his close friends, and decided keeping the two boys away from other people was significantly worse than potentially exposing them to danger. So Wilbur told the boys to pack their bags, that they were going on an adventure, and lead them away from Phil's old home in the woods.

When they arrived in Dream's land, everything was good. There was peace and they were happy. Tubbo expected it to stay this way forever.

When Tubbo was eleven, he was dragged into a war for the first time.

Wilbur was not content with Dream's rule. He believed Dream was a dictator and not effectively able to keep his younger brothers safe. Wilbur created a new country, told his friends that he would be separating himself from Dream's kingdom, and that he wanted peace and a safe place. 

Tubbo was reluctant to join, at first. Tubbo believed creating a new land was unnecessary, but Tommy was excited and Tubbo could never say no to his best friend, so he joined the revolution along with the rest of them.

L'manberg was like one big family. Tubbo was already brothers to Tommy and Wilbur in everything except blood, but with a Fundy being adopted by Wilbur, and Niki and Eret becoming like siblings to him, Tubbo felt like he had a true family for the first time ever.

When Tubbo was twelve, he died for the first time.

Eret's betrayal hit everyone differently but just as hard. Niki, Eret's biological sister, refused to leave her room for a week. Wilbur paced his room and obsessively planned. Fundy slept by the river until the revolution ended. Tommy refused to accept defeat, and was louder than ever. And Tubbo ran off to the forest, speaking no more than 10 words for weeks.

But slowly they moved on. They accepted the betrayal. They stopped looking over to ask Eret a question, only to realize they were gone. They became stronger. They got better.

When Tubbo was thirteen, his country finally gained independence.

Tubbo helped Tommy through everything after that. The after the duel both boys could be seen awake late into the night, the older of the two holding his sobbing friend for hours. During the following weeks Tubbo hid any and every bow and arrow in the country, and distracted Tommy any time Dream was even mentioned around him.

It took a month for Tubbo to fully process the fact that the war had been won. The night he did he could be found sobbing alone in his room. Once it finally hit home that his best friend was on his final life, he vowed to do everything he could to protect Tommy, even if it cost him his last two lives.

_(Tommy could hear quiet sobbing through the walls. He wished so badly that he had the strength to go in the room beside his and comfort his best friend, but he didn't. Instead he sat curled against the wall with his head on his knees and prayed to ender that Tubbo would be ok.)_

When Tubbo was fourteen, Wilbur announced an election for president.

Wilbur told the public that it was only fair, that he needed to keep up the democracy that the country was founded upon. Wilbur told Tubbo behind closed doors that he planned to close the registration before any other group had the chance to sign up.

Tubbo was fourteen and a half when his best friend and pseudo-brother were exiled.

Tubbo was fourteen and a half when he met his father.

Schlatt being elected president was a shock, to say the least. At first Tubbo was ecstatic, believing his best friend and pseudo-brother were about to officially become the leaders of the country they worked so hard to build. Then Tubbo watched Wilbur get shot, and he remembered they never get to be happy. Tubbo wanted so bad to follow them, to run away again and find another home like they had done before, but he was held back, and was instead forced to watch them flee

Finding out Schlatt was his father was a little bit of a disaster. Tubbo was terrified of the man, but then headaches started to form and he could no longer concentrate on his work. Schlatt was, understandably, worried. His right hand man was suffering and neither of them knew what to do.

The hastily cobbled together healthcare system was put into use the day after it formally opened. Tubbo wanted the pain to stop, and Schlatt wanted his work to be done. They came in expecting to be given pain meds and to be sent along their way, and left with plans for Tubbo's growing horns, and instructions on how to properly care for one's own son. Schlatt was ecstatic, finally able to see his son again after being forced to leave him behind. But Tubbo was angry, wanting nothing more than to know why his own father had left him in the woods to die.

The father and son had a long talk a few days later, discussing their situations and how they would go forward. Tubbo found out about Schlatt's poor physical health and previous financial situation, and Schlatt was told how Tubbo and Tommy became such close friends. They both knew they would never truly have the good relationship they both so craved, but they were trying, and that was enough.

Tubbo came to understand why Schlatt was putting in place seemingly random laws. He understood why Schlatt exiled Tommy and Wilbur. He even began to agree.

Tubbo was fifteen when his father hit him for the first time.

It was his fault, really, it was! He couldn't read the words correctly and didn't have his paperwork done in time, so the only logical punishment was what he recieved. Plus, he should have known that Schlatt would be drunk, he was every Friday night, Tubbo was the one who fucked up. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt though.

Tubbo was fifteen and six months when he became a spy for Pogtopia.

Wilbur finally got into contact with Tubbo. He wasn't fully trusted, not with the horns and perfectly put together suits and the whole _working for Schlatt_ thing, but he was allowed to see Tommy once a week as long as he gave them the information they needed, and that was good enough for him.

The stress of being his father's right hand man combined with the constant work of being a spy left him exhausted. Schlatt always had more work for him to do, and Wilbur was never satisfied, but Tubbo was nothing if not a hard-worker, so he got it all done. And if he slept a maximum of 3 hours a night, if at all, and was constantly worried about being punished by either of the two leaders, that wasn't too important.

Tubbo is fifteen and eight months when a festival was announced.

Tubbo was put in charge of setting everything up, of all the decorations, of all the invitations, everything. He was finally being trusted with something huge, and he would do anything to make his father proud. He worked nonstop until the day of, only taking breaks when absolutely required.

Tubbo was fifteen and nine months when he was introduced to Tommy's uncle figure.

Tubbo hadn't had a good opinion of Technoblade since he was a very small child. He didn't know much about the man, only that he was a piglin who was extremely good at swordfighting, and that he had fucked off with Tommy's father while they were both children. He knows that the piglin left Wilbur to take care of two children while still being a child himself, and that the man can never be trusted to stay.

However when Tubbo met the Blood God, as he seemed to be called more recently, he was pleasantly surprised. The man was chill, and was more than happy talking to Tubbo about the farms down in Pogtopia. They both were content to converse about the simpler things only they seemed to enjoy, and their tentative friendship grew from tense to pleasant.

Tubbo was sixteen and two weeks when he was executed by his own father and his newly found friend.

This time, instead of Tommy being held at night while sobbing, this time the one crying was Tubbo. Once again the young boy felt the sting of betrayal combined with the lingering pain of death ~~_oh god it hurt it hurts so bad Tommy HELP PLEASE_~~. The scars left behind from the firework covered most of his body, leaving him nothing but a fucked up imitation of the boy he once was.

_(Tommy was pissed. His uncle had just killed his best friend, and he was pissed. There was nothing he wanted more than to get all up in the pig man's face and yell at him, but he knew he couldn't. He knew his uncle was far too strong, far too power hungry to leave a possible fight untouched, and so he bottled down his anger and held onto his best friend while he sobbed. His strong, innocent, clingy best friend, who went from filled to the brim with joy to clinging to his friend as if he would disappear if he let go.)_

When Tubbo was sixteen and one month when he experienced his first trauma induced panic attack.

Wilbur had recently gained a strange interest in TNT. He had been experimenting with gunpowder and explosions in the ravine, and the memories the smells and sounds brought back triggered one of the worst panic attacks of his life. Tommy was furious, and wouldn't let Wilbur speak to Tubbo for a week.

Technoblade calls it PTSD. Tubbo calls it annoying.

Tubbo is sixteen and three months when he watches his father die.

Surprisingly, that wasn't the most overwhelming part of the day. Being elected president and watching his pseudo-brother be killed for the third and final time an hour later really helps take his mind off of the first death. Plus the whole explosion thing. That wasn't a very fun day for Tubbo.

Tubbo is sixteen and five months when he's forced to exile his best friend. 

Well, only somewhat forced. He could have abandoned his country, but everyone knew he wouldn't. If he chose his best friend, everyone would call him the next Schlatt, and then everyone would die. If he chose his country, everyone would _still_ call him the next Schlatt, but at least nobody would die. Really it was the most logical option.

Tommy was furious, and Tubbo didn't blame him. Tubbo was mad too, at himself and the living nightmare that was Dream. Tubbo knew he had permanently destroyed his relationship with his best friend, but at least this way Tommy would be safe.

Tubbo was seventeen and three days when he found Tommy's tower.

Tubbo tried to visit Tommy, he really did, but he couldn't. Dream wouldn't tell him Tommy's location, and he was never able to leave his office for long enough to go searching. He hadn't slept properly in weeks, and he hardly ate, but he just wanted the best for his people, even if they all hated him.

So when his birthday hit and Dream let him have a break, he was ecstatic. Tubbo wanted nothing more than to see Tommy and apologize, but finding out Tommy was 'dead' broke something in him he didn't know was there. He had failed. The one goal he had he fucked up, all because he was too self absorbed to go and search for his best friend.

Tubbo was seventeen and one month when he ran into Tommy again. 

Tubbo was seventeen, one month, and 3 weeks when he was told he was worth less than a stupid _fucking_ music disc.

Tubbo was seventeen and two months when his country blew up. Again.

Tubbo was seventeen and four months when he nearly gave his last life in order to save Tommy.

He went into the confrontation knewing he would die, and instead came out alive. Tommy still didn't care. Tommy pretended he was worried, and then fucked off with Sam and left Tubbo in the dust. Left Tubbo to deal with everything all on his own. 

But he was always alone, wasn't he? He never truly had anyone. Back when they were kids, Tommy had a nice warm house and a loving brother. During Schlatt's reign over Manberg, Tommy had shelter and someone who wouldn't beat the shit out of him at the slightest mistake. Even while being abused and manipulated during exile, Tommy still had someone to go back to. And all this time all Tubbo had was Tommy and citizens who looked at him with thinly veiled pity or disgust. Nobody who truly cared, nobody who wanted him. Only people who hated him and everything he stood for.

But he understood, he deserved the hate. He was a terrible president and a terrible friend. He still couldn't stand to look at himself in the mirror, and he couldn't force himself to eat quite as much as he should, but he deserved it, so it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except keeping Tommy safe, and he'd go through anything to make sure Tommy was never hurt again

_(Tommy was seventeen and one month when Tubbo went missing.)_

**Author's Note:**

> tubbo *holds my head in my hands*


End file.
